I finished my Peace Corps service in Panama on June 10th 2010. The last few months of my peace corps service passed at a unimaginably fast rate. They were filled with so many emotions and happenings, that I could hardly take a moment to breath and write them down.
A few last thoughts and happenings.
Packing and the yard sale. I had a great big yard sale on my lawn of all the things in my house. Everything went at 25 cents to 50 cents, a few prized items at higher prices. Everyone came over and bought what they liked, while I served popcorn and juice. Everyone went home feeling proud about the things they worked hard to purchase instead of fighting over the items that I could have given out for free.
For the last few weeks, I had a constant stream of visitors at my house. As soon as one visitor went down the steps, another came up. We talked of how much we would miss each other and how we would all cry on my leaving day. They asked me not to forget them and who I would speak their indigenous language with when I arrive to the states.
The going away parties. I had three days of parties before my departure, filled with delicious traditional foods, long speeches, and beautiful handmade gifts. We had a big party at the school. The community members took their turns saying words of thanks. And then it was my turn and a knot grew in my throat and I started to cry. I mumbled my way through my speech that I had written, unable to calm my sobs. It was an inevitable goodbye, but that doesn´t make it any easier. A handweaved bag with a home grown cucumber was one of my favorite gifts. We had a pinata and we did a rendidtion of the traditional Ngobe dance called the Hegi or gwara.
At the goodbye party with my women´s artisan group, we ate until we couldn´t eat anymore and we watched parts of movies using a small generator. We watched the first twenty minutes of the Michael Jackson film, and the adults giggled at the pelvic thrusts on screen. The group gave me a nagwa, the traditional dress, made with the loving hands of each of the women. Now when I look at the dress, I will think of each of them. It was a motivational party because although it was goodbye, the day also served as a work party for the new artisan house where the women will sell their goods in the future. It brings a tear to my eye that I will not be here to see all of the advancements and the impacts of my time here, but it makes me feel proud to see the community take ownership and continue into the future with motivation and hope. I look forward to returning in the future and seeing all the changes.
One of the hardest goodbyes was with my sidekick Placido, my 16 year old neighbor that I could not imagine my service without. He helped me pack my bags and clean my house. On my last day, he specially cooked me a lunch of boiled green bananas and a piece of beef that was from the cow that died that morning up the hill. And he sat down with me in my house and gave me a 5 minute speech of all the reasons he wanted to say thank you to me. And then I said all my thank yous. And we stayed composed, although there were a lot of internal tears.
Guillermo and Anselma and their family. I love this entire family so dearly and they are my closest friends here. After I left to go to Panama City to finish up officially in the office, I returned to say one last goodbye. And Guillemo called out ¨aye mere tikwe¨ with the most endearing tone, as a family calls out to a family member who has been gone for some time. And it was just like that.
With all my bags packed, my dearest friends Guillermo, Anselma and Placido helped me down to the school to wait for a taxi to come. I waited with them on my either side, hugging my shoulders. Placido suddenly said, is that a grey hair that you have? I said that I had never had a grey hair before, so it couldn´t be. Not 30 seconds later, Anselma pulled two bright white hairs out of my head. I was astounded.
There are a few ways to look at this.
1. The Peace Corps has aged me, which in some ways I believe is true. Physically but also emotionally and mentally, in wisdom and maturity.
2. The way the ngobes see it is that if you are really kind to others in your life, you will live to have many a white hair.
My service was an incredible experience, one that I would not change for anything in the world. I have so many friendships and I have grown in ways that I could never imagine. I can hardly explain the love I feel for these people.
So I will miss here. But it now time for me to transition on. Thanks to all of you who have supported me throughout my time here.
For those who would like to continue to read about my experiences, head to www.cyclesofchange.wordpress.com
where you can trace my journey back to the US by bike, supporting sustainable agriculture projects along the way.
Muchas Gracias
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